Let’s be honest—we’ve all got red flags.
Not just the dating-app kind, but those little habits and quirks that pop up when life feels loud or overwhelming. Even after years of healing and doing the work, mine didn’t just vanish—they’ve simply changed shape.
The good news? I’ve learned to spot them faster. And instead of shaming myself for having them, I can usually laugh and use them as little check-engine lights saying, “Hey Gina, something’s off.”
So, in the spirit of honesty—and hopefully giving you a laugh along the way—here’s how my current red flags stack up:
🚩 1. The Overthought (and Often Deleted) Text Reply
I’m famous for typing out an entire response… and then deleting it. Sometimes three different drafts, none of which actually get sent.
These days, I usually just toss in an emoji and call it good. It’s not that I don’t care—it’s that my brain wants to overthink every word before it leaves my phone. Hitting send without a second thought? That’s my current version of growth.
🚩 2. Taking Things Personally That Aren’t About Me
If someone cancels lunch, my first thought is: “Did I do something?” (…followed by a tiny wave of relief because, truthfully, staying home sounds amazing.)
When someone sends a short text, I can’t help but think: “Are they upset with me?”
And if a friend doesn’t reply at all, I’ll occasionally wonder: “Maybe I said something wrong,” when it’s usually just life doing its thing.
I’ve gotten better at catching these thoughts and reminding myself: not every short reply or change of plans means I’m the problem.
🚩 3. Avoiding Work I Don’t Want to Do (By Doing Literally Anything Else)
If there’s a task I really don’t want to tackle—bookkeeping, cleaning out emails, making a tough phone call—you’ll suddenly find me doing everything else.
I’ll “just quickly” reorganize my office, wipe down counters, or take on a random project that absolutely wasn’t urgent. Sure, it feels productive in the moment, but I know what’s really happening: procrastination dressed up as progress.
I’m working on pausing and asking myself: “Is this truly important right now, or am I just hiding from the thing I don’t want to do?” Sometimes the answer still leads me to color-code my closet… but at least I know why.
🚩 4. Overcommitting Because I Still Hate Saying No
Even as a coach who teaches boundaries, this one sneaks up on me. I want to help everyone, do all the things, and not disappoint anyone.
Before I know it, my calendar’s a hot mess, and I’m exhausted. The win is that now, instead of silently pushing through until I’m crying over spilled coffee, I can admit when I’ve taken on too much and actually ask for help. That’s real progress for me.
From Red Flags to Green Lights
Here’s what I’ve learned:
Red flags aren’t proof you’re broken. They’re just signals—a little blinking light saying, “Hey, check in with yourself.”
Now, instead of drowning in shame over my quirks, I use them as clues. I laugh when I catch myself avoiding a task, give myself grace when a text takes a day to send, and celebrate every time I pause long enough to choose a different response.
That’s not failure. That’s healing.
And honestly? That self-awareness might just be my biggest green flag. 💚